Breath of life

I wrote this over a year ago but never posted it. I just found the draft and thought I should post it :)


With all my friends having new babies or just about to, I find myself looking back at Coopers baby pictures and videos. I am in aw of the gift I have been given to have him. He truly is a gift from God. I have said this before but anyone who doesn't believe that there is a higher power out there has never conceived, carried, birthed and nursed a healthy baby before. The whole process is unbelievable and there is no way that this just happens as a process of evolution.

When Cooper was born it was a little more stressful at the hospital because I had to worry about how Kenadie was feeling, where she was staying, and if she was feeling left out, all emotions that are so big for a 4 year old. She handled it well, a little cry on the way home after we picked her up (with him) once we got home and she realized we had missed her and were so happy to have this little boy as an addition and not a replacement, she fell in love with him. She stayed with my mom while we were at the hospital and had a good time. I was on the fence about whether I wanted my mom to be with us during delivery because I wanted her to be with Kenadie and making sure she was ok the whole time we were away but I'm glad she came for the delivery otherwise we wouldn't have had the pictures and videos because Eric doesn't do well with blood and was doing good just to be there and not pass out. We almost had my friend come just to take pictures but my mom insisted she see him born and I'm glad she did :)

Cooper is now 9 months old so I'm a little late with this post but I wasn't blogging at that time so better late then never... It was a somewhat stressful labor. We had storms coming through that night and actually had to leave the room and go into the hall at one point for a tornado warning. Luckily I wasn't very far along in my labor or that would have been much more then just an inconvenience. I had a new nurse that was a little bit crazy. She made so many mistakes I could go on forever about her! Luckily we only had her for one day and the first half on my labor when I was much more friendly (lucky for her that is) She messed up our paperwork and REALLY messed up my IV. Everything ended up working out but it was definitely stressful.  We didn't have a name for this little guy so we were stressing about that during my whole labor as well. They gave me a shot of statal (spelling) hoping I could sleep through the night and wake up and have a baby but it completely stopped my labor and we basically had to start over in the morning. They gave me pitocin to start me back up again with regular contractions. I laid there for almost 16 hours with a too strong epidural that was making me queezzy from going to high above my waist. I had to lay just right on a pillow but I moved the pillow that afternoon and it went downhill fast. I started to feel contractions and I was only at a 5-6. I started to tell the nurse that something wasn't right, I was able to feel all my contractions. She moved me around, adjusted the pillow and it just got worse. With each contraction I felt more and more. I am a believer in that women are equipped with the mentally and physical capacity to do this without meds and had considered doing it without in the first place but decided it was not necessary. I still had a nice experience with the epidural with Kenadie and I didn't have any problems with it so we decided to do it again but then for it to just be gone after it already working and no time to prepare mentally for the pain, I totally freaked out  was a little shaken up. I insisted that we get the anesthesiologist back in there to fix whatever had gone wrong and they said he could NOT make it back here in time. I was only at a 5-6 but the contractions were coming on really fast. She checked me again and I was an 8-9 within minuets. She told me it I was going to have to do it  with what little was left of my epidural. UHG!  He was born about 30 mins later! Perfectly healthy little boy, a lot smaller then we had expected but perfect! The Dr told me he was already 7 lbs at my 38 week check up so he would be closer to 8 by the time I had him. He was 6lbs and 13 oz OOPS! Good thing about the lack of epidural at the end was that I was able to get up right away and shower and stretch my legs, something I didn't get to do till the next day with Kenadie because my epidural lasted so long.



This video is so dear to my heart. With the epidural (or lack of) drama there in the last 30 mins or so and I was trying to keep it all together and get over the anger/shock and get my big girl pants on and do this! I wanted to see my baby boys face! SO after he was born, I saw him and held him but I wasn't all there due to the adrenalin crash and the overwhelming relief of OH MY GOODNESS I just did that and its over, hes born, hes crying (so that means he is ok) and that HURRRTTTT!!! I'm so thankful that I have these videos and pictures, courtesy of my mom who WAS all there and on top of it. She took this video of him as soon as he was born when they were checking him all out. I was across the room being doctored up and all the lovely afterbirth moments I wont go into so I didn't get to see this, his first few breaths of life...

Kids Spring Pictures 2010

Speaking of look alikes...

I found this picture of me and my grandma when I was Coopers age. I always see so much of Eric when I see Cooper but when I saw this picture of my self I was so surprised. He looks like me in this picture. I was so happy to see it. I miss my grandma dearly and she is so close to my heart even though she is so far away. Im so glad I have such wonderful memories growing up with her. I would give anything for my kids to know her, who she used to be and how much she means to me. When I see these pictures of me and they look like my kids on her lap, for some reason it makes me feel better

Girls rule and boys drool

So I find myself always comparing how different Cooper is from Kenadie when she was a baby. She was so laid back and go with the flow. She was so happy to just be with you, she didn't need to be entertained or have to have food or toys at any given second to keep from getting upset when bored. She would just fall asleep or start to get goofy and entertain herself. WELLL then there is Cooper, oh my sweet little Cooper... He is a different baby, he IS a good baby and he naps well and eats well which are the most important things but he is SO much more maintenance then Kenadie ever thought about being. I have a lot of mommy friends and we are always telling baby stories, i used to think that it was just the difference between boys and girls but now I'm thinking it may be the difference between first and second baby. If that were the case, wouldn't my second one be the laid back, go with the flow baby? Since he just has to go along with our flow we already have going with Kenadie? Where as with the first, its all about them and how your life changes around them. OR is it the opposite because with your first one, things are so sweet and quiet and you have so much more time to devote and just sit and relax and with the second for me it was, put him in my sling and off we go!

Interesting... maybe there is just no science to it and that its just, in the words of Kenadies preK teacher, "you get what you get and you dont throw a fit" ha! Im thankful for my little monster, even though he requires so much more of me.. hes totally worth it. He fills a place in my heart that i never knew was missing. Hes the pb to my j :)

Heres some pictures, youd think with how much they look alike that they would act alike!